Hi friends! I am SO excited about this post! If you follow me over on Instagram, then you've probably heard me talk about this new book, Savoring Single. It is amazing and I wish every single person everywhere could read it. It has truly challenged me to view singleness in a positive light, and not see marriage as my "purpose" or "main goal" in life. I was made for bringing glory to God's name!
With all of that being said, I got the chance to interview the author, Shelley Black, and I just love her answers! I know you will too. So I wanted to kick off my Singleness Series with this interview!
Let's get on with it!
1. First off, could you please introduce yourself and tell us a fun fact?
Shelley Black, here. Just your average 34-year old, Jesus loving,
wanderlust traveling, Southern girl, preacher’s kid that’s still single.
Yes, my dad told me to sign up for E-harmony. Yes, I tried it. But I
guess we know how that went (smile). I simply adore
all things sugar, prefer my coffee iced and have never loved life more
than I do today.
2. Why is the message of "Savoring Single" so important to you?
I was raised in church, and yet I felt totally under-prepared for this
season in all the ways that mattered most. I get it. The whole single
topic can be super tough, navigating through legit hurts, raw emotions
and real struggles. On top of that, most youth
pastors are already engaged or married, and though it’s a tough one to
admit… saying “I do” seems to erase the memory of being single much like
a momma whose pains of childbirth fade once looking into the face of
her little miracle.
So, I spent a ton of years wandering in a wilderness simply because I
didn’t know how to find my own way out. We do walk out our own personal
relationship with Christ, hearing His voice and following His leading,
but having someone to help disciple me into
maturity to hear His voice clearer and obey His leading truer has made
all the difference. And that’s a huge part of what I hope the “Savoring
Single” message brings to the girls who are impacted by it.
3. How did you go from desiring a guy to actually "Savoring Single"?
The root of desperately wanting to be in a relationship was less about
the fact that I wasn’t, and more about my deeper need of knowing God
relationally. Being in church all those years provided me a lot of
knowledge about who He was, but in my heart, I was
disconnected. I sought relationships to affirm my significance, so my
soul state was chronically depressed. But when I found my significance
in Christ, truly, all those needs that went unmet for all those years,
were satisfied in knowing and being known by
my Father.
4. Do you still deal with the strong desire to be married?
I whole-heartedly believe that marriage is God’s idea and a beautiful
gift for our human experience. I believe I will get married and that a
husband is part of God’s plan for my life, but I am ever thankful that
“I found the one whom my soul loves” in Christ,
first. I am happy to spend the rest of my life cultivating my love for
Him, whether or not a husband ever comes along.
5. How did your book come to be?
I laid down to take a much-needed nap on a day off from my
high-demanding job, only I couldn’t sleep. Words begin to flood my mind,
to the sound of my own voice, as if I were reading to myself. As I
heard the message, I urged myself to get up, pull out my laptop
and start typing the thoughts that were coming. This happened every
time I tried to sleep for a straight two weeks. I must say, work was a
struggle for my lack of rest, but God birthed a message in me that I had
no idea was coming. I never dreamed I’d write
a book. I dabbled in writing short stories and poetry… I mean, what
love-sick teenager doesn’t pen some work after reading poetry in high
school? But an actual book, this was quite a surprise, but like all the
adventures my life has enjoyed, I rolled with
it and I am so glad I did!
6. What is your favorite part of the book and why?
I love the devotional prayers between chapters. Scripture gives us such
great language to help form the words that are so often hard to find
that truly express the depth of longing in our hearts. Prayer can be
stoic and cold to the one not yet warmed by His
affection, distant to the one not yet near, and hopeless to the one who
hasn’t yet seen the fulfillment of many attempts to connect. But when
we breathe back to Him the words He first spoke, it’s like electricity
to our faith as His words bring life like He
promised they would.
7. If you could go one place to speak about your book, where would you go? Why?
Every church in America, simply because that’s where I was and was still
so lost. That’s where maybe you are, praying for the same relief I was
to the unending loneliness and pain of constant rejection because
“single” has labeled us in a way that overlays
every other grasp for connection. I love the local church! Like
marriage, it’s totally God’s idea, but by the statistics of how many
under 30’s there are and how few are in church… I think as a body, we’re
missing a vital part of who we’re supposed to be together
because we’re missing those who have left to find themselves in the
world. The world doesn’t have the answer, because in God lies the
fullness of love, wisdom and knowledge, sometimes we just need a fresh
introduction and renewed perspective.
8. Any closing thoughts or something you'd like to add?
If we do
single right, we are more likely to do marriage better. As a result, our
families will be healthier, the divorce rate will go down, children
will have a better future and the Kingdom of God will become greater
established
in the earth as we fulfill Kingdom purpose.
Girl, your
single season matters. How you guard your heart, the affections you
pursue and the person you become will dramatically impact the guy you
choose and the life you lead. I sincerely hope you’ll begin to savor
this
season, because you’re worth far more than ordinary.
In this with you girl, Shelley
Are her answers not the best?? I just love how passionate her love for Jesus and this message are. And her book is full of so much more wisdom!
You know how a lot of books on being single talk about preparing for marriage or how to be "wife material"? While those can be awesome topics, Shelley talks about how to actually thrive as a single girl- when marriage isn't in sight and you don't know how to get past all of the confusing emotions.
Shelley feels like a mentor that is meeting you right where you are at and holding your hand. It's full of relatable stories, beautiful prayers, and practical advice.
Ahh I just can't recommend it enough! Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. Did I mention it is under $10??
As I mentioned earlier, this is the first part of my Singleness Series, and I am SO excited! It's going to be good, y'all. I've had all of this on my heart for a while and I can't wait to share it with you. So come back next week, and we'll be talking about how to actually guard your heart, because you've been told to do so often, but you're not sure how, right? At least I wasn't.
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See you next week,
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Labels: book review, books, encouragement, lifestyle, reading, singleness, summer reading
